February is Suicide Awareness Month and I was concerned about the staggering statistics in the rise in attempts by teenagers and young adults. Coming of age for teenagers involves shifts and changes. This transition may exhibit the emotional tug of war in loud outbursts or quiet brooding, spending more and more time away from home and with friends, and even opting for solitude rather than joining us at the dinner table. How do we watch for behaviors that stem away from characteristic adolescent moodiness and veer into more dangerous contemplations of suicide?
By 2014, suicide was the tenth leading cause of death in America, and climbed up to number two for teenagers and young adults. 1 million estimated suicide attempts are made in America alone per year, and over 40,000 lead to actual deaths. These staggering numbers can catalyze us to understanding the vastness of the issue in our culture and inspire us to be vessels of hope to those who don’t know how to handle thoughts of suicide.
There are a few signs to look for. 90% of suicides are related to mental disorders, particularly depression and anxiety. Other risk factors include substance abuse disorders, prior suicide attempts, family history of suicide and family violence, and exposure to suicidal behaviors of others.
Listen for conversations that include comments of:
Hurting themselves
Having no reason to live
Being a burden to others
Watch for behavior changes, particularly related to:
Increased use of alcohol or drugs
Reckless behavior
Withdrawing from usual activities
Isolating from community
Sleeping too much or too little
Giving away prized possessions
If you suspect a loved one is considering suicide, voice your concern. Studies reveal that bringing up the topic does not plant it into their minds, nor strengthen the likelihood that suicide will occur. Share with your child that you love them unconditionally and that you’re concerned. Ask them how they got to this place of desperation and listen. They may say things like “no one understands me,” “life is just too hard,” or “I’m better off dead.” Of course this is faulty thinking but dealing with depression is not about thinking, it’s about how they’re feeling. So don’t try to correct what they say. It just confirms that no one understands them.
Instead, listen. Listen to learn what they’re going through. Remind them that you love them and that you’ll get through this difficult time. Take all thoughts of suicide seriously and seek professional mental help.
If peers or your friends have considered or have died of suicide, whether they be celebrities or classmates at school, dialogue with your child about it. Stories of suicide deaths may elicit a chain reaction among young peers, so mental health professionals often suggest to keep the stories away from public spotlight. Grieve with your child when this happens, and take proactive measures to monitor their position.
It is normal for grieving loved ones to question, to miss, to mourn, to feel guilty and to search for answers. If you are grieving a lost loved one, seek support and guidance. You can eventually come to a place of peace.
Thankfully, awareness movements and campaigns have relieved some of the
stigma regarding suicide. The month of February is dedicated to raising awareness and decreasing the stigma surrounding suicide. Battling thoughts of suicide or supporting loved ones in their time of need is not something to be ashamed of. Seek support – through families, friends, communities, and especially through professional mental health experts. Help create a culture that doesn’t hide from each other in its times of greatest need.
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