What to know how to really connect with your loved ones and make a powerful difference? Read on…
Have you ever given that perfect gift thinking s/he will absolutely love it! – just to feel let down because it wasn’t received in the way you expected? In his book, The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman explains that people communicate and understand emotional love in their own love language. These are Gifts, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch. Similar to learning a foreign language one has to translate and adapt the nuances in a way that makes sense to you and then communicate it effectively so that it makes sense to the receiver.
What is your love language? You may show your love by giving Gifts, but your lover prefers spending a quiet evening with you (Quality Time). Or you might spend hours preparing your lover’s favorite meal (Acts of Service), but it seems to miss the mark because he feels loved when you recognize and affirm how much you appreciate him (Words of Affirmation). A Physical Touch individual expresses and feels loved when touching – massages, back rubs, hugs and holding hands.
Are you expressing your love in the way they can fully appreciate? If I want my Quality Time spouse and three of our five children to feel prioritized, I have to put my natural inclination to serve aside, and have to be with them. (Just sitting? My worst nightmare!- but worth the shift.)
The golden rule of relationships is to treat others the way they need to be treated (in their love language). With Valentine’s Day right around the corner you can give the gift of love in the way your loved one can fully appreciate and continue to nurture Relationships For Life.
Carolyn Gerard is a 20 year Fairbanks Ranch resident, mother of five children (including twins) and wife of 30+ years. She is also a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in Couples and Relationship therapy. For more information, contact (858) 756-8171, cg (at) GerardCounseling (dot) com, www.Relationships4Life.com.
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