The holiday season creates expectations for a festive and loving gathering with family and friends. Yet it’s often met with undue stress, disappointment, anxiety or depression. Maybe it’s fortuitous that Thanksgiving kicks off the season. We’re expected to be grateful. If this attitude of gratitude were adapted into our daily lives, might it bring greater happiness?
As a psychotherapist, I often work with people suffering from anxiety or depression. One of my first tasks is to create a safe enough environment for the person to trust me enough to decrease the negative rumination. As they move away from their inner doubts and fears they’re able to view life more realistically. They eventually discover that there is much to be thankful for.
Gratitude is defined as the feeling or quality of being grateful. It is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible. With gratitude, people acknowledge the goodness in their lives. They recognize that many times the source of that goodness lies outside themselves. As a result, gratitude also helps people connect to something larger than themselves as individuals – whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.
UC Riverside professor, Sonja Lyubomirsky, says in her book, The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want, that “Gratitude is many things to many people. It is wonder, appreciation, looking on the bright side of a setback. It is fathoming abundance, thanking someone in your life, thanking God and ‘counting blessings.’ It is coping, present-oriented and not taking things for granted.”
Her research demonstrates that “expressing gratitude has several benefits. People who are grateful are likely to be happier, hopeful and energetic, and they possess positive emotions more frequently. Individuals also tend to be more forgiving, empathetic and helpful, while being less depressed, envious or neurotic. The results illustrated that those who expressed gratitude tended to feel more satisfied and optimistic with their lives. Their health received a boost as well; fewer physical symptoms (such as headaches, acne, coughing or nausea) were reported, and they spent more time exercising. It’s therefore been noted that gratitude investigations depict a correlation between mental and physical health.”
“In addition, gratitude fosters happiness, making it easier to cope with stress and trauma. A positive perspective allows you to obtain a better grasp on suffering. Expressing gratefulness during personal adversity like loss or chronic illness, as hard as that might be, can help you adjust, move on, and perhaps begin anew.
In the days following September 11, 2001, gratitude was found to be the second most commonly held emotion (sympathy was the first).
Gratitude is not really about feelings. It is a choice. We can choose to be grateful even when our emotions are steeped in hurt and resentment. Gratitude is the gift that keeps on giving. May your holiday season focus on discovering the simple beauty and joy that surrounds you.
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