Is it Time for a Relationship Check-Up?
One of the great illusions of our time is that love is self-sustaining. It is not.
Love must be fed and nurtured, constantly renewed.
That demands ingenuity and consideration, but first and foremost, it demands time.
– David Mace
People change. Relationships also change. Change isn’t necessarily good or bad – it happens. Work, children, financial pressures and taking care of one’s personal needs – all are important and vie for time from our busy lives. People don’t intentionally neglect their relationship with their partner or spouse, but often find themselves too busy with other responsibilities that they loose sight of their most important relationship – each other.
When things are going well for couples, they are able to draw strength from this “safe haven” love relationship. However, when communication has broken down and couples neglect to effectively repair resentments and hurts, those feelings don’t go away on their own. If left unaddressed, the issues tend to come up time and again, causing an icy wall of isolation between them.
Is it time for a Relationship Check-Up? We’re taught to tune up our car every 3,000 miles, to visit the dentist twice a year, and to bring young children to their pediatrician for well-baby care. We’re mindful of our physical health – watching our diet, working out, and visiting a physician when needed. How do you take care of your most valued and life fulfilling relationship?
In a survey conducted by Life Innovations, Inc., they found the following common issues between couples:
Communication
- In 76% of marriages, one or both spouses said, “I wish my partner were more willing to share his/her feelings.”
- 69% of couples report, “I sometimes have difficulty asking my partner for what I want.”
Finances
- 72% of the time, one or both spouses said, “I wish my partner was more careful about spending money.”
- A full 71% of couples report, “We have trouble saving money.”
Sex
- 68% of those surveyed said, “I am dissatisfied with the amount of affection I receive from my partner.”
- 66% of married couples express concern about “differing levels of sexual interest.”
Parenting
- 82% of married couples report, “Having children has reduced our marital satisfaction.”
- This may be caused in part by the fact that 64% of couples say, “My partner focuses more on the children than on our marriage.”
Personality Issues
- 87% of couples indicate, “My partner is sometimes too stubborn.”
- 83% of the time, one or both report, “My partner is too negative or critical.”
Conflict
- In 78% of marriages, one or both partners, “go out of there way to avoid conflict.”
- 77% of couples say, “We have different ideas about the best way to solve our disagreements.”
“Communication, money, sex . . . these are common issues for all couples. If you are struggling in your marriage, you may be tempted to believe you’re the only one who feels the way you do. Be assured, you are not alone; all couples have challenges they need to overcome.”
Make time today to prioritize, fine-tune and refocus on your most important relationship.
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